Research shows that nearly 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February.

This happens not because we lack willpower, but because we try to change through fear, shame, self-criticism, or a belief that something about us needs to be fixed. When we approach change this way, our nervous system stays in survival mode, focused on getting through the day rather than creating a life that feels nourishing and meaningful.

The shift from burnout to vitality and joy doesn’t come from trying harder… I have done it, and it doesn’t work! It comes from changing direction–instead of running away from dread and exhaustion, we begin moving toward purpose.

Purpose offers the kind of fuel that doesn’t depend on urgency, novelty, or other people’s expectations. It allows us to engage with life more intentionally, even when life remains full and demanding. 

In my forthcoming book, Living with the HEART in Mind, I explore how we can shift our internal “operating system” from burnout to purpose. Below is an exclusive first look at a snippet from the book that addresses how we can begin to reconnect with what matters most.

“Priscilla, one of my former students and a college professor, told me that thinking about purpose outside of her career felt like a radical idea. During our time together, she realized that her definition of purpose had been based on her profession and now, she was asked to think about her why outside of a job description or a title. She realized that her purpose could be connected to all parts of her life, from her professional role to her life as a daughter, wife, mother and friend.

Finding purpose is finding that powerful force in your life that has been waiting for you all along; sometimes this force is whispering in your ear “there is something better for you out there,” or “it is time to move on.” These whispers can get pretty loud and might show up in the form of insomnia, panic attacks, bouts of anger or an ongoing feeling of restlessness. When our daily actions are not aligned with our purpose, we can feel it in our bodies and hearts, even when we don’t know what our calling is.

In my own experience, going through crises of purpose (note the plural) has led me to make difficult choices, such as leaving an organization to pursue my own path, which ultimately resulted in finding my next pursuit. In this process, I had to trust the voices that told me things were not working anymore, and a change was needed. The hardest part was not hearing these voices; it was following them to create my own life and admit that my purpose had evolved into something different and a new path was waiting for me.

Author and educator Parker Palmer reminds us that the life you may be living is not the same as the life that wants to live in you. Your true life may be hidden, “like the river beneath the ice.”  It is by listening to our hearts that we can reclaim the gift of the true self and give it the care that it requires. The beauty and the challenge of finding your own path is that it is not based on other people’s paths or the expectations they have of you–it is your own camino and it is yours for the finding.”

As you navigate this week, I invite you to try one small shift: instead of asking what you should “fix” about yourself, ask what brings you joy and what kind of impact you genuinely want to make.

I’m so excited to share more of this journey with you as we approach our June book launch. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you: What is one micro-step you’re taking this week to move toward your purpose? Leave me a comment below. I always love to hear from you!

Photo by Wai Siew