When I was a special education teacher, I took great care in preparing for the beginning of the school year, as most educators do. I wrote lesson plans, arranged all my books and supplies, and studied my caseload.

Not once did I prepare for the emotional needs of the school year or how I’d get through the busy and difficult months.

Since going through burnout, I have learned that when things get challenging, spending time with those in our support system is one of the first things most people stop doing. We put our heads down, power through, and tell ourselves we’ll catch up with people once things settle.

The challenge is that the year rarely settles. And when we finally take a breather, we realize we have been neglecting those who can help us buffer the impact of having an emotionally demanding profession.

What if I told you that meaningful relationships are one of the most consistent findings in the science of well-being? 

The Harvard Study of Adult Development has followed the same families since 1938, and its director, Robert Waldinger, is clear about what the people with the richest relationships have in common. On Vivek Murthy’s podcast Staying Human, the former Surgeon General asked him what set those people apart. His answer: they are the ones who “get together with friends very deliberately, very regularly.”

Connection that lasts doesn’t just happen; it is a connection someone chose to tend.

In my latest book, Living with the HEART in Mind, I tell the story of a hiking group I started with a few other mothers from my children’s school. The goal was simple and deliberate: get outside, move our bodies, and make room for the kind of conversation that doesn’t happen in a hallway or a text thread. Two years on, that group is one of my steadiest sources of strength. It didn’t build itself. We chose it, and we keep choosing it.

So before you get busy, I want to offer one small practice: 

Name one person who could be a source of strength for you this year. A colleague down the hall, an old friend, someone who understands the work. Then do one concrete thing this week to reach them. Go for a short walk, schedule a standing coffee or dinner, or send them a message that starts a real conversation.

If this practice is helpful, grab your copy of Living with the HEART in Mind. And if you have read it, please leave me a review on Amazon and Goodreads. Your feedback would be a great gift! 

Wishing all educators and parents a smooth start to the school year.

Photo by Omar Lopez