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Posts from the ‘Emotions’ Category

Gratitude for Self

Did you know that people who experience gratitude cope better with stress, recover more quickly from illness, and enjoy more robust physical health, including lower blood pressure and better immune function? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, the readiness to show appreciation and return kindness to others. In the US, Thanksgiving is the holiday that celebrates gratitude and encourages us to be appreciative. Students and teachers may spend time together creating gratitude quilts, writing gratitude letters or sharing a gratitude meal (check out Stone Soup: a lesson in sharing). However, there is a lesser known form of gratitude that we often miss: gratitude for self.

For many adults, and sometimes youth too, it is difficult to acknowledge their positive traits or list their strengths without feeling self-conscious. They may fear being perceived as vain or feel uncomfortable when somebody offers an authentic compliment. As we have discussed in the past, being able to identify our strengths is an important expression of self-awareness and a fundamental skill for our students to develop. Dr. Kristin Jeff, self-compassion researcher and author, argues that appreciating other people’s goodness while ignoring our own creates a false division between us and them. She explains how showing appreciation for our good qualities is an expression of gratitude for all the people who have shaped us as individuals—a nurturing family, supportive teachers, loving friends.

Great teaching requires educators to fully engage their mind, heart and soul to support students’ growth. There is no way around it. This means experiencing difficult emotions: failure, disappointment, even burn out. When we practice gratitude for ourselves, we take the time to appreciate and recognize the work we do every day and who we are as humans. It is not a selfish exercise; it is a practice that can fill your bucket, so you are ready to support others in doing the same for themselves. Try these simple practices:

1. Identify 3 things that you value about yourself. They can be related to your role as a teacher or other roles in your life (parent, spouse, sister/brother, neighbor). What is the impact of these things in your life? And the life of your students? Give yourself some credit!

2. Acknowledge 3 things that went well each day. Be specific about the choices you made that contributed to a positive outcome. Did you stay calm during a difficult conversation? Were you motivated and finished that lesson plan in time?

3. Take a moment to appreciate these things. Notice how you feel when you reflect on your strengths and the things that went well in your classroom or in your life. Now, decide on one thing that you will do to show yourself some kindness.

4. Repeat!

In an earlier post, I discussed how gratitude starts inside and flourishes through our expressions of kindness towards others. Whenever you are expressing gratitude in your life or teaching your students how to be grateful, remember to spend some time discussing and practicing self-gratitude. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Wishing you all a great Thanksgiving holiday.

Leading with EQ

I have been working with an amazing group of aspiring principals in New Orleans this past week. They are enrolled in a leadership program, the Summer Principals Academy at Columbia University, which incorporates emotional intelligence (EQ) training and a daily guided mindfulness practice. We have been learning how to use our emotions to know ourselves better, establish positive relationships and lead schools wholeheartedly. Witnessing their growth and “aha” moments is one of the most rewarding parts of my job. Read more

3 Key Lessons on Empathy

I did the last internship for my teaching credential in a rural town in Nicaragua, volunteering at a local NGO – Los Pipitos – that supported children with disabilities. During my time there, I worked alongside a promotora de salud (community health professional), Martha; the most patient human being I have ever met, I learned everything I know about empathy from her. Read more

Are You Listening?

When I was a kid, I became fascinated with the story of Momo by Michael Ende. Have you read it? Momo is a little girl of mysterious origin with an extraordinary ability to listen – really listen. I remember reading the book and wondering, how does she do it? Can I really listen that way too?

She listened in a way that made slow-witted people have flashes of inspiration. It wasn’t that she actually said anything or asked questions that put such ideas into their heads. She simply sat there and listened with the upmost attention and sympathy, fixing them with her big, dark eyes, and they suddenly became aware of ideas whose existence they had never suspected. Momo could listen in such a way that worried and indecisive people knew their own minds from one moment to the next, or shy people felt suddenly confident and at ease, or down-hearted people felt happy and hopeful. Read more

Focus on Yourself to Nurture Positive Relationships

The relationships that children and youth establish with adults are critical for a healthy social and emotional development. When students and teachers establish positive, caring relationships, students are more likely to use their teachers as resource to solve problems, engage in learning activities, and better navigate the demands of school (Williford & Sanger Wolcott, 2015). Researchers have found that high-quality relationships between students and teachers are linked with students’ academic and social-emotional outcomes. Read more

Choosing to Be Grateful

This year, many families in the US are feeling fearful or anxious about having political conversations during the Thanksgiving dinner. A time to show appreciation and gratitude towards loved ones may become sour if we affirm “our” experience and opinion, without considering the experience of others or how our comments might affect them. Ask yourself, how am I feeling? And (even if it is difficult) also ask, how are you feeling? Having an enjoyable Thanksgiving meal might require us to practice and model our best emotional intelligence skills! Read more

3 Skills To Discuss Racism with Emotional Intelligence

You do not look how I expected you to look. Are you Asian?”. He turns to my husband and asks “Don’t you think you should have told us your wife was Asian?”.

A former colleague recently posted these sentences on Facebook in response to the article “Go Back to China” recently published in the New York Times. Reporter Michael Luo was told to go back to China when walking with his family and friends on the Upper East Side of Manhattan on a Sunday morning. My colleague was among many others who replied to Luo’s article describing their own experience of racism and discrimination. Read more

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