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Posts from the ‘Emotions’ Category

Let It Be

Emotions are an important part of being human. We don’t want to ignore or suppress them because they provide valuable data about what is happening inside ourselves and the world around us. Yes, I know, I have said this before. However, with the holidays around the corner, there is this notion that we must feel a certain way… mostly happy, joyful and excited. Well, what if that’s not the case for you or your students?

Sharon Salzberg, world-renowned meditation teacher and New York Times bestselling author, explains how we are conditioned to believe that painful feelings are “bad”, and pleasurable ones are “good.” For many people, it’s often easier to avoid grief and sorrow, while only embracing pleasant sensations like confidence or love. A solely focus on pleasurable emotions can negatively impact students’ healthy development.

Social Emotional Learning means developing students’ and adults’ capacity to accept and learn to embrace all of their emotions, including the unpleasant ones, so they can experience a more enduring sense of happiness and life satisfaction. Even during the holidays. Especially during the holidays.

Educators have a critical role understanding what kinds of emotions students experience in the classroom, how they differ among students, and how they influence their engagement and performance. However, the teacher’s job is not to make students feel happy at all times, but to create the conditions where students can recognize and manage their emotions in constructive ways. It is better for students to learn how to cope with disappointment and failure from a caring teacher, than to have no tools to deal with these feelings. Ready or not, feelings are coming our way.

As you start the holiday celebrations, allow yourself and your students to acknowledge and appreciate whatever feelings this time of year brings. If it is sadness, grief or anger, approach it with compassion. And just let it be.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday season and a New Year filled with purpose.

Reference: Salzberg, S. (2017). Real Love. The Art of Mindful Connection. New York, NY: Flatiron Books.

Gratitude for Self

Did you know that people who experience gratitude cope better with stress, recover more quickly from illness, and enjoy more robust physical health, including lower blood pressure and better immune function? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, the readiness to show appreciation and return kindness to others. In the US, Thanksgiving is the holiday that celebrates gratitude and encourages us to be appreciative. Students and teachers may spend time together creating gratitude quilts, writing gratitude letters or sharing a gratitude meal (check out Stone Soup: a lesson in sharing). However, there is a lesser known form of gratitude that we often miss: gratitude for self. Read more

Leading with EQ

I have been working with an amazing group of aspiring principals in New Orleans this past week. They are enrolled in a leadership program, the Summer Principals Academy at Columbia University, which incorporates emotional intelligence (EQ) training and a daily guided mindfulness practice. We have been learning how to use our emotions to know ourselves better, establish positive relationships and lead schools wholeheartedly. Witnessing their growth and “aha” moments is one of the most rewarding parts of my job. Read more

3 Key Lessons on Empathy

I did the last internship for my teaching credential in a rural town in Nicaragua, volunteering at a local NGO – Los Pipitos – that supported children with disabilities. During my time there, I worked alongside a promotora de salud (community health professional), Martha; the most patient human being I have ever met, I learned everything I know about empathy from her. Read more

Are You Listening?

When I was a kid, I became fascinated with the story of Momo by Michael Ende. Have you read it? Momo is a little girl of mysterious origin with an extraordinary ability to listen – really listen. I remember reading the book and wondering, how does she do it? Can I really listen that way too?

She listened in a way that made slow-witted people have flashes of inspiration. It wasn’t that she actually said anything or asked questions that put such ideas into their heads. She simply sat there and listened with the upmost attention and sympathy, fixing them with her big, dark eyes, and they suddenly became aware of ideas whose existence they had never suspected. Momo could listen in such a way that worried and indecisive people knew their own minds from one moment to the next, or shy people felt suddenly confident and at ease, or down-hearted people felt happy and hopeful. Read more

Focus on Yourself to Nurture Positive Relationships

The relationships that children and youth establish with adults are critical for a healthy social and emotional development. When students and teachers establish positive, caring relationships, students are more likely to use their teachers as resource to solve problems, engage in learning activities, and better navigate the demands of school (Williford & Sanger Wolcott, 2015). Researchers have found that high-quality relationships between students and teachers are linked with students’ academic and social-emotional outcomes. Read more

Choosing to Be Grateful

This year, many families in the US are feeling fearful or anxious about having political conversations during the Thanksgiving dinner. A time to show appreciation and gratitude towards loved ones may become sour if we affirm “our” experience and opinion, without considering the experience of others or how our comments might affect them. Ask yourself, how am I feeling? And (even if it is difficult) also ask, how are you feeling? Having an enjoyable Thanksgiving meal might require us to practice and model our best emotional intelligence skills! Read more

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