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Posts from the ‘emotions’ Category

Jun 27

Leading with EQ

I have been working with an amazing group of aspiring principals in New Orleans this past week. They are enrolled in a leadership program, the Summer Principals Academy at Columbia University, which incorporates emotional intelligence (EQ) training and a daily guided mindfulness practice. We have been learning how to use our emotions to know ourselves better, establish positive relationships and lead schools wholeheartedly. Witnessing their growth and “aha” moments is one of the most rewarding parts of my job.

In an earlier post, I discussed findings of a research study that followed a group of principals in an urban school district in California for one school year. Although these two groups of principals are quite different, the experiences they had learning and practicing emotional intelligence are quite similar: they both identified EQ as essential to achieving wellbeing and placed a high value on using emotions to connect with others. One of the principals in New Orleans wrote:

“Emotion is a building block of understanding”

Let’s reflect – What would happen at your school, in your classroom and in your heart if you embraced this belief? What difference would it make in the world?

The development of social and emotional competencies is an important component in the preparation of effective and resilient school leaders. Fortunately, there are leadership programs, such as the one at Columbia University, where aspiring principals learn and practice these skills before they are in schools. Unfortunately, this program is the exception, not the norm. What would it take to incorporate these necessary skills in the preparation and development of school principals? If you have some ideas, please get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.

Hope you all enjoy a restful summer.

P.S. I’ll be back in August with new articles to support your SEL work in schools.

Apr 18

3 Key Lessons on Empathy

I did the last internship for my teaching credential in a rural town in Nicaragua, volunteering at a local NGO – Los Pipitos – that supported children with disabilities. During my time there, I worked alongside a promotora de salud (community health professional), Martha; the most patient human being I have ever met, I learned everything I know about empathy from her. Read more

Mar 9

Are You Listening?

When I was a kid, I became fascinated with the story of Momo by Michael Ende. Have you read it? Momo is a little girl of mysterious origin with an extraordinary ability to listen – really listen. I remember reading the book and wondering, how does she do it? Can I really listen that way too?

She listened in a way that made slow-witted people have flashes of inspiration. It wasn’t that she actually said anything or asked questions that put such ideas into their heads. She simply sat there and listened with the upmost attention and sympathy, fixing them with her big, dark eyes, and they suddenly became aware of ideas whose existence they had never suspected. Momo could listen in such a way that worried and indecisive people knew their own minds from one moment to the next, or shy people felt suddenly confident and at ease, or down-hearted people felt happy and hopeful. Read more

Feb 16

Focus on Yourself to Nurture Positive Relationships

The relationships that children and youth establish with adults are critical for a healthy social and emotional development. When students and teachers establish positive, caring relationships, students are more likely to use their teachers as resource to solve problems, engage in learning activities, and better navigate the demands of school (Williford & Sanger Wolcott, 2015). Researchers have found that high-quality relationships between students and teachers are linked with students’ academic and social-emotional outcomes. Read more

Nov 23

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Choosing to Be Grateful

This year, many families in the US are feeling fearful or anxious about having political conversations during the Thanksgiving dinner. A time to show appreciation and gratitude towards loved ones may become sour if we affirm “our” experience and opinion, without considering the experience of others or how our comments might affect them. Ask yourself, how am I feeling? And (even if it is difficult) also ask, how are you feeling? Having an enjoyable Thanksgiving meal might require us to practice and model our best emotional intelligence skills! Read more

Oct 19

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3 Skills To Discuss Racism with Emotional Intelligence

“You do not look how I expected you to look. Are you Asian?”. He turns to my husband and asks “Don’t you think you should have told us your wife was Asian?”.

A former colleague recently posted these sentences on Facebook in response to the article “Go Back to China” recently published in the New York Times. Reporter Michael Luo was told to go back to China when walking with his family and friends on the Upper East Side of Manhattan on a Sunday morning. My colleague was among many others who replied to Luo’s article describing their own experience of racism and discrimination. Read more

Sep 7

3 Strategies to Navigate Emotions

I recently met with a fantastic group of principals. Two weeks into the new school year and they were already discussing serious issues taking place at their schools. You could almost touch the tension in the room. We started the meeting with a simple breathing exercise, so we could all (including myself!) get our minds ready to engage and participate in meaningful ways. Learning ways to navigate emotions and deal with the stress of daily life is a major goal in Social Emotional Learning that applies to both students and adults. Read more

Apr 21

Do You Want to Fight Bullying? Focus on Kindness

“Our bullying assemblies are simply lecturing us to not be the bully, when we should be informed about WHAT WE SHOULD DO when we get bullied. Many of us aren’t bullies, but we are victims.”  Middle School Student Read more

Feb 13

Empathy is a Design Mindset – part 1

Melissa Pelochino is the Director of Professional Development at the K12 Lab, Stanford University Design School, known as the d.school. She plays at the intersection of design thinking and K12 education. We talked about design thinking, empathy and the connections between the two. Follow her on Twitter @mpelochino. Read more

Jan 29

Got Anger?

A few years back, my principal and I had an argument about some testing that needed to get done. From my classroom, a remodeled closet above the gym, I could hear her heels coming towards my class… I started sweating and my heart was pounding; she was not even there yet, and I was already getting angry again! My mind was quickly building a catalog of all the situations where there had been tension between us, which made me even angrier. The conversation did NOT start with “I hear what you are saying…” and there were some passive aggressive remarks made… by me. Fortunately, we were able to work through the issue and made a plan to solve the problem. When she left, I felt so relieved. Read more

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